Nintendo's tournament
by Phoenixkid
Summary: Nintendo is organizing a fighting tournament and several of it's characters will be participating! Full of insanely weird stuff!


Nintendo's Tournament  
Chapter 1:The Preliminaries (The beginning)  
  
Phoenixkid: There! My machine is finally ready! I named it Saber. It has many uses you'll see.  
  
( A humanoid form with two blades as arms starts speaking)  
  
Saber- DISCLAIMER: Nothing in this story is own by my stupid author . . .  
  
(Phoenixkid zapped Saber which made him scream of pain)  
  
Phoenixkid- I made sure he could feel pain, * Phoenixkid's special maniacal laughter*  
  
Saber (fear on his face)- . . . my marvellous author, even if said so. So don't sue him in justice.  
  
Phoenixkid- Wonderful ( gives Saber a electronic cookie), good job, now another of it's use his to intimidate the SSBM. Go slash a couple of times the Jigglypuff in the garden, Saber!  
  
(Saber goes in the garden, we hear a blade slashing the air and Jigglypuff screaming in pain.)  
  
Phoenixkid: * Phoenixkid's special maniacal laughter* There, let's begin! ~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Nintendo's Tournament host- I will now explain the NT preliminaries!  
  
Spectators: WOOOOOOOHOOOOOOO!  
  
( There was about thirty thousands of spectators standing on the terracing while one hundred of the entrants were standing in front of the host. All of this was on PK island.)  
  
NT host- It will be easy since all you have to do is run through this five metres large and twenty metres long area, guarded by one hundred elite snipers, one by one. Once gone through the area, snipers stop shooting at you. Then you have to swim 40 kilometres to the NT's secret island. Oh, I forgot to tell you, there's many shark guarding the area. Everything is permitted.  
  
Several entrants ( standing open-mouthed)- . . .  
  
Entrant # 1- . . . easy, you said?  
  
NT host- Yes, it's easy since we got rid of the mine field and the helicopters with machine guns. Since all our volunteers were annihilated during the training, we can't show you an example of this course. Sorry for this inconvenience.  
  
Several entrants: This is insane! We're out of here! ( For no apparent reasons, several flashes of lightning appear and transform them into cinders.)  
  
Phoenixkid's echoing voice- All entrants MUST stay and...  
  
Entrant # 1- . . . die?  
  
(Many flashes of lightning appeared for no reason and zapped the Entrant # 1 to death.)  
  
Phoenixkid's echoing voice- . . . must NOT interrupt me. Now let's begin the bloodlust or you will suffer my . . . displeasure. *Phoenixkid's special maniacal laughter*  
  
NT host- . . . *thinks* That's one sadistic author...*Back to reality* Entrant # 1, go ahead!  
  
(Nobody shows up.)  
  
NT host- Probably somewhere in these cinders. Well, Entrant # 2, you're next!  
  
(Nobody shows up again.)  
  
NT host- Probably somewhere in the cinders too. Here you go # 3!  
  
(Again, nobody shows up.)  
  
And so on . . . until . . .  
  
NT host- # 77, go on!  
  
(A tall man walks, slips on a banana peeling that appeared for no reason, falls and dies.)  
  
NT host- Well, that was . . . unexpected.  
  
Phoenixkid- I'm so kind, I saved a gun ball.*Phoenixkid's special maniacal laughter*  
  
NT host- . . . Yes, well um . . . # 78, you're next!  
  
(# 78 appears to be Mario, who takes a lighter out from his pocket, puts it on, blows at the flame which creates a fireball and goes in the blow's direction. He starts firing fireballs at the Snipers.)  
  
Spectators- WOOOOOOOHOOOOOO!  
  
Sniper # 1- Holy @*&%$! Mike, did you see that?  
  
( All the snipers are starting to panic. One of them who has one hand missing and cinders under his missing hand ( A coincidence, I tell you!) starts speaking.) Mike (sarcastically) - Sorry Fred, I was occupied by my hand been transforming into cinders, after it was hit by that guy's fire ball.  
  
Fred- Well, believe it or not, that guy has one of those rare Nintendo's lighter!  
  
Mike- . . . *thinks* He's weird.  
  
Sniper Captain- Strategical retreat! Fred, stay here and wait for the fire fighters.  
  
Fred- Ok!  
  
(Every sniper, except Fred, runs away)  
  
After a couple of fire balls . . .  
  
Fred- Hey, wait a second . . . Fire fighters can't rescue us from fire balls. Besides, there's no fire fighters on this island!  
  
(Fred runs away. Mario goes close to the water and is about to get in when two sharks get closer to Mario.)  
  
Mario- Get out-a here-a or A'll burn you-a!  
  
Shark # 1- Hey, cool! I've never been burned before! Hey, Max! Want to get burned?  
  
Max- Sure!  
  
Shark # 1- Great! Go call the others!  
  
Mario- . . . Fine!  
  
(Soon, all the sharks are lined up to get burned. Mario takes out his lighter, and does the same thing he did to the Snipers. After a while, every shark gets burned. Mario swims to the NT secret island, thanks to his extraordinary endurance. ( If it's not endurance, how do you explain that he can jump over and over in all the games he appears in?))  
  
Spectators- AGAIN! AGAIN! AGAIN!  
  
NT host- Due to technical problems, we will be having a short break until we found where the snipers are hidden and some replacement to replace the dead ones. Also, we might need to find more sharks.  
  
Phoenixkids- While waiting, you could have a snack by eating those tasty sharks as it might finish the tournament sooner since some entrants will probably die. Now, to torture you even more, I'll add in some commercials! *Phoenixkid's special maniacal laughter* ~~~~~~~~~~ Phoenixkid- Come on! Say something!  
  
Luke- My father's name is Darth vader and my answer is "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!".  
  
Phoenixkid- Something you sell!  
  
Luke- Han Solo for a dollar?  
  
Phoenixkid- Never mind. Go back to your planet. *Phoenixkid's super depressing cry* I . . . I missed m. . . my sadistic pl . . . plan!! ~~~~~~~~~~  
  
(After a while, new sharks and snipers are added while the old snipers are found back.)  
  
NT host- Okay, so #79, you're next!  
  
( Kirby shows up and walks close to the area.)  
  
Sniper Captain: All right! Aim at the pink puff ball, FIRE!  
  
( All Sniper starts to shoot at Kirby. Kirby open his mouth and starts sucking up air, and then gun balls.)  
  
Sniper Captain: Stop shooting!  
  
Sniper # 3- Why captain?  
  
Sniper Captain- If this is what I think it is, we are doomed!  
  
~~~ Sniper Captain's flashback  
  
Young boy- I'm going to play outside, mom!  
  
Mom- Go ahead, sweetie! But beware of the Kirby!  
  
Sweetie- What's a Kirby, Mom?  
  
Mom- A Kirby is an evil, sadistic puffball. It sucks stuff and people and then swallows them to take their powers.  
  
What a Kirby represents in Sniper Captain's head: ( A big, black ball crushing everything on its way by rolling, with the word "death" engraved on one side of it. It has a big hole sucking a SWAT team and machine guns growing on the ball. The ball is laughing sadistically by its hole.) ~~~ Sniper Captain- I think this is a Kirby, it doesn't look too evil, but I'm sure it can do some diabolic stuff.  
  
What Sniper Captain thinks Kirby will become after swallowing all those gun balls: ( An athletic Kirby stands in front of them with a mean look. He has grenades tied to his belt and has a machine gun. A lot of ammo is all over his shoulder and waist and several knives are in his boots. Two swords are tied crossed to his back.)  
  
Kirby-Good food to Kirby, Kirby loooooooooooooooves you! (Yes, Kirby learned to talk!)  
  
All Snipers- ARRRRRRGHHH!  
  
Sniper Captain- It's worst than I thought! Strategical retreat!  
  
(All the Snipers run away.)  
  
Kirby- Kirby's friends . . . (Kirby raises his hands) Gon!  
  
( Kirby goes close to the water and spots the sharks.)  
  
Kirby- Ooooooh! More food!  
  
(A shark goes as close to Kirby as he can.)  
  
Shark # 1- We're no food! Take that back!  
  
Kirby- Talking food?  
  
~~~ In Kirby's head Talking food= Weird but fresh ~~~  
  
( Kirby starts sucking air to get the talking food and Shark # 1 gets in his mouth. Kirby swallows it.)  
  
~~~Shark # 1- You're kidding? I'm not going to be swallowed by this puff ball!  
  
(A flash of lighting appears for no reason and zaps the shark...)  
  
Shark # 1 ( Which's colour is very dark)- Of . . . cou . . . course I wi . . . will dea . . . dear master.  
  
Phoenixkid's echoing voice- Actually, you don't have to.  
  
Shark # 1- Re . . . really?  
  
Phoenixkid's echoing voice- Yes, I'll just have to zap you to cinders and replace you! *Phoenixkid's special maniacal laughter*  
  
Shark # 1- I pre . . . prefer to b . . .be swa . . . swallowed.~~~  
  
( So, Kirby sucks Shark #1 in his mouth and swallows it.)  
  
Kirby (disgusted face)- Taste . . . weird. Something fishy. New?  
  
( Kirby takes out a N64 Controller from nowhere written "Kirby's controller" on it. He presses B button. Kirby's head becomes a shark's head and he starts dashing over the water, then half in, half on the water.)  
  
Kirby-?  
  
( Kirby dashes through sharks which gets eradicated on the process. Suddenly, Kirby's morph and dash stops and he falls in the water. After he takes a deep breath Kirby flaps to stay in the air.)  
  
Kirby *thinks* Cool!  
  
(Kirby starts pressing B again same stuff happens, and again, and again, and again until he attains NT secret island.)  
  
NT host- Okay sinc . . .  
  
(Kirby is coming back dashing with his shark's head saying "Cool" every time it re-starts.)  
  
NT host- You must STAY on the island!  
  
(After Kirby is close to the PK island beach, he goes back to the NT secret island dashing again with his shark's head saying "Cool!" every time it re- starts.)  
  
NT host- Like I was saying, since we have to find the Snipers and get new sharks again and probably have to after every single entrants, Phoenixkid accepted to use his powers to teleport the Snipers here and create sharks at one condition.  
  
Random entrant- Which is?  
  
NT host-Well, I'll read it:  
  
(The NT host gets out two parchments out from his pocket and start reading it.)  
  
NT host-The first one: "In exchange of NT host's security granted, he will be the SSBM emissary and will be able to take all the decisions in their places."  
  
Random entrant- If we can't.  
  
NT host: Exactly. Now for the second one: "I, Phoenixkid, accept to teleport the Snipers back and create new Snipers and sharks and in return, the SSBM will be life-long slaves to me."  
  
Random entrant- Ah well, too bad, but we decline.  
  
NT host- Hmm, it's too late, I already accepted.  
  
Random entrant- It's no good! We were able to take our own decisions.  
  
NT host- Not really since he talked to me telepathically and I was in a trance.  
  
All the entrants ( mouth wide-open)- . . .  
  
NT host- Um . . . you can't touch me, I've got Phoenixkid's protection!  
  
Random entrant- What? So you really sold us? You're . . . a freak! We are all brothers! How could you?  
  
NT host- You're my brother? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!  
  
Random entrant- Okay, stop that Star wars stuff, I mean we are all from Nintendo.  
  
NT host- No, I'm from United states!  
  
Random entrant- . . . * thinks* What an idiot!  
  
Phoenixkid- We lost enough time! Go on!  
  
( Everybody looks at the NT host with an angry look.)  
  
Phoenixkid- Have a smile or I may test my bolt and transform you into cinders *Phoenixkid's special maniacal laughter*  
  
( Every entrants has a forced smile.)  
  
NT host- Well, entrant #80, here you go!  
  
( Yoshi comes out of the entrants and walks toward the Sniper, but before going in the area he stops, gets a radio from nowhere puts it on the ground and puts a CD in the radio. Suddenly, Mission impossible's tune starts. Yoshi starts running into the area.)  
  
Sniper Captain- AIM! FIRE!  
  
(All the snipers start shooting on Yoshi, who's running and rolling, not even touched by a single bullet going through the entire area.)  
  
Yoshi- *Yoshi's war cry*  
  
Spectators- WOOOHOOOO!  
  
(Yoshi looks at the water seeing the sharks does a weird pose.)  
  
Yoshi- Yoooshi, Woshii! Yashiiii! Translation: Arcane of the Yoshi fighting style: the evils mutants producing.  
  
(Yoshi goes close to the area getting Snipers with his tongue to put them in his mouth, then swallowing them and producing tiny Yoshi eggs. Yoshi gets about fifteen Snipers, then watches his eggs hatch. Soon, all the eggs hatch and black baby Yoshi with red evil eyes get out of there. They all have a longer tail than Yoshi but they also have spikes on it. They all obey to Yoshi.)  
  
Yoshi- *Yoshi's weird psycho laughter*  
  
Spectators- (scared)  
  
Phoenixkid- I'm so happy, my apprentice is making progress! He is getting more and more evil! As his teacher I must admit he's a good student.  
  
(All the evil Yoshi's mutants go on the water, following Yoshi's orders. Then Yoshi goes on top of them. The EYM not only support him but also swims with him slowly, but surely. Yoshi does again his weird psycho laughter, and again, and again. After a while, the EYM start to drown!)  
  
Yoshi- Yoooooooooooooooooooshiiiii! Translation: Idiots! Stop drowning! If you continue drowning, I'm going to fall in the water!  
  
EYM # 1- Evil eviiiil! Translation: We can't stop drowning, besides, it's your fault.  
  
Yoshi- Yoshi? Wassshhhi! Translation: What? How dare you?  
  
EYM # 1- Evil eviiiiiiiiil eeeeeeeeeevil! Translation: Well, if you stopped eating all those sharks on the way you wouldn't have pooped on my brothers' heads.  
  
Yoshi- Yoshi Yoooooshi! Translation: Not my fault if they are stupid!  
  
Spectators- ?  
  
~~~ What just happened . . .~~~ Yoshi- Washi! Yoooooshi! Translation: Miam! Delicious sharks!  
  
After a while . . .  
  
Yoshi- Yoshi. Waaaaashi. Translation: I need to go to the bathroom. There's none. I just have to poop here!  
  
(Yoshi poops on the EYM.)  
  
EYM # 1- Evil! Eeeeviiil. Translation: Watch out! Those are enough to cover you ten times!  
  
EYM # 2 to11- Evil? Eviiil . . .evil! Translation: Ten times? Ok, so me multiplied by ten... Argh! A headache!  
  
( All the EYM # 2 to 11 drowned leaving 4 EYM)  
  
~~~ End of what just happened ~~~  
  
Random EYM- Eviiil. eeeeeevil! eeeeeeviiiiiiiiiil! Translation: You too would be knocked out too if somebody put on you enough shit to cover you ten times. And you know that dinosaur's shit is even worse! AHH!We're drowning!  
  
( All the EYM drowned and the poor Yoshi had to swim one hundred metres before attaining the island. Since Yoshi didn't even know how to swim, he floated on the water and was taken away by the waves ( dinosaurs normally learn how to swim but Yoshi's mind had used so much memory of his brain of about being evil that he didn't have place for swimming or talking normally) to the NT secret island.)  
  
Spectators- BOOOOOOOO! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Phoenixkid- Happy end? All the good entrants made it? Don't worry I'll take care of that, in the next chapter, some entrants will go in a better world *Phoenixkid's special ending sadistic laughter*.  
  
END OF CHAPTER 


End file.
